“Love is not a matter of what happens in life, its a matter of what’s happening in your heart” But Love is not pure when it comes to hurt your parents.
Yes, people are getting indulged in relationships and demand their parents to marry the person whom they love. Now it’s A routine for us to hear that someone are in a relationship like the other kind of commitment i am talking about. Mostly people are into relationships and some are not. Its’ all depends. Rate of love marriages is increasing day by day and rate of suicidal attempts is also increasing, somehow they both are connected to each other.
Marriage is a celebration of a beautiful union of two beings. Marriage is a pure relation that anyone can have. Everyone has the right to marry. It’s the most purest relationship in Islam.
Parents are our best adviser. They always want their child to be happy in future so they can never make bad decisions for their children’s life. They have experienced the world more than us, so obviously they know people more than us, they can in a sense predict our future . Children ask their parents to get them married to whoever they want to get married to the one they love and expect their parents to say ”YES”. Parents say yes only when they find our future bright and secure with that person. If they find that person good and deserving for you, they say Yes and if they don’t find the person right for you, they go against it. It’s all about the conditions and situations that let our parents to take decisions for our betterment.
If parents don’t allow their child to marry the person of their choice, they start threatening their parents with so called suicide threats. completely ignoring the fact that their parents are the only reason for their existence in their world and they are the only one who want the best for them.
They not only threaten their parents, actually they do anything to get married with their loved one. Honestly speaking I don’t understand these people how they can do that all this ? Their parents are nothing for them ? Life is a gift of God. We can’t kill ourselves for someone, it’s a sin that can not be forgiven.
I truly agree that the joy of happiness we feel in love marriages is something beyond awesomeness because we already know person way too much with whom we have planned to spend our whole life, we don’t feel the joy to this extend in arranged marriages because you feel all uncomfortable but then at the same time you do fee the satisfaction of marrying he person of your parents choice and that’s the most amazing feeling which will end up making you happy for all your life. Your parents decision is very necessary and important, without them you can not marry anyone. Your nikkah is invalid without your parents permission.
Your parents are the ones who have made you a human being, a respectable person. They have faced a lot of problems and hardships while bringing you up and for making you for what you are today. They made many compromises in their life and struggled hard, why they have done so ? just because of you. How can they still mean nothing to you ? They don’t have the right to make decisions in your life ? oh that’s amazing seriously ,we can do anything for the person we love even ready to fight with our parents for that person you know just before some years. We can do all things to marry that person but we can’t listen to our parents whom we know since birth. It’s crystal clear that we are selfish. I believe if someone can hurt their parents, they can hurt anyone, they won’t be good to anyone else in their lives ever.
On the other-hand parents must also understand their child’s feeling and when they don’t agree on something they should give a strong reason to say no. Love marriages are allowed in Islam but on conditions.Some parents clearly say no to their child by saying ”you are not allowed to do love marriage, our society wont accept it” that’s the lamest reason that they give, that’s totally wrong Because forced marriages are also not allowed in Islam and that’s right you can’t force your child, just give them sometime to get ready. They should see the person and then make a decisiom, that’s the right way to make any judgement on a marriage issue. Parents should give reasons to their child. If they say no they have to give reasons to them. And after all those reasons, you should understand and realize that parents can only make the best decisions for you and they have all rights to do so.
Suicide , secret marriages, court marriages are increasing day by day. And people feel happy while doing it. Even people are ready to kill their parents for the sake of their love. And when have no succession for their marriage they are ready to kill groom in his girlfriend wedding. Instead of backing, some boys would be making their mind to take revenge. I must say to all those that please have mercy on your parents and family. They have done countless things to us and we are busy in doing these things which can make our parents to feel disrespectful around people.
“Don’t kill yourself. No doubt Allah (swt) is merciful and anyone who does so, will be pushed in fire. And it is easy for Allah (swt).” (Nisa: 4:29, 4:30) is quite clear that Allah wont for forgive for this act.
While Secret marriages whilst recognized are severely disliked in Islam and even Haram when it goes against the will of the parents. The reason for this is that it means that those who are responsible for them are not advised of it and the couple will go against their parents by doing so. The Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) has clearly stressed that the will of the father is the will of Allah (Bukhari) also how important it is to obtain the dua of one’s parents. I wrote the Quran verses so that here i can mention something which we all need to now.
We believe that love marriages always fail. And it has been proved that majority failed marriages are because the couples go against their parents and because of forced love marriages as well.
The reason behind the failure of love marriage is that marriage is not only a bonding between two people but it’s a bonding between two families . When a couple fights, their parents and in-laws are the one who sort out things between them. But what if you have your love marriage with their dis-agreement? Who would be their to sort things out between them? This is the reason arranged marriages are proven to be more successful rather than love marriages.
At the outset, you should understand that marriage is a major step in ones life. If this step is taken in the proper manner, one will enjoy everlasting success and bliss in the future. However, if the step is taken carelessly or in negligence, one will suffer the consequences of this forever. One great contributing factor towards the success of ones marriage is, taking the blessings of the parents and seniors.
If you love someone and truly want to be with her/him in future then convince your parents in an acceptable way. Tell good things about him and his family, You better know how to convince you parents and if they say no then you should forget that person and move on with your life because if you have tried all your luck and have put in all your efforts but still it didn’t work then it’s high time you realize it was ever meant to be yours because I believe ”What’s meant to be will always finds it way ” if not then it wasn’t in your destiny. If you are right for each other and meant to be, then nothing will be a barrier for you to marry her/him. Allah is always there to listen if you make dua with pure heart and offer prayer you’ will definitely get whatever you want. Always believe in Allah and never go for wrong ways to get someone. Be on the right path and then see the magic.
God has a better plan for you than you have for yourself. Allah loves us more than anyone and can never do something wrong for us. Just believe in God, pray with pure heart and then see how things will work out. Patience is a great virtue in Islam.
Don’t let your parents to feel down, make them proud !